ISU

Alma Matters

Alma Matters

So, something really awesome happened this week. Part of me wants to keep it close to the chest and privately bask in it. But at the same time....damn, this was a super cool thing, a simple joy. And shared joy is doubled. So I'm going to tell you about it. 

But before I tell you that story, I have to tell you this one. 
 

Reunion and Communion

So last night I had the most amazing dream. (Even better than the Conan O'Brien and Adam Savage dream!) And chances are that if you're reading this, you were in my dream! How cool is that? (You were clothed, I promise.) As is usually the case, I can only remember snippets of it in vivid detail, the rest of it is rather amorphous and has been reduced to a series of snapshots and emotions.

Now, over the years I've done a lot of analysis of my own dreams. I've come to understand a lot of the symbolism that my mind uses to show me things or work through problems. An example: If I dream of the house where I grew up, or a school that I went to, I'm usually trying to work through an issue that happened at that time, when I was in that mindset. I look at my own mind like a high rise condo, so buildings in my dreams tend to refer to minds/attitudes from that specific time in my life. Also, I have vivid dreams. Full color, full sensation. Faces of others, though, can be blurry or completely wrong. Many times I will dream of someone and only get the "feel" of them, rather than see their face as I know it.

With me so far?

Okay. So...last night's dream started with me walking along the halls of my junior high school. I was with two girls that I had passing friendships with. We were all grown up and strolling down memory lane in a very literal sense. So, one of the girls looks at the next room we're about to enter... it's the high school auditorium and we can hear a theater production going on.

"I'm not going in there," she says. "If I had it to do over again I never would've gone in there."

I step away from the two women, look in the door and I see images from my past swirling about. There's my drama teacher, there's my first boyfriend, there's my last performance on that stage. All of these events are walking along the same stage at the same time, all unaware of one another. It's like I can see threads between them, one that leads to another.

I look at the girls and say, "I'm going in."

And as I step inside, it changes. I'm in the high school auditorium, yes, but EVERYONE is there. All of my friends and teachers from high school, people that graduated before me, after me, with me... past present and future of this place are all in one area. The stage is in front of me, the seats are all packed around me... to the left is a huge open door. In the next room I can see a similar place... People mingling and smiling, laughing. Among them I see my college professors and friends that I went to ISU with.

A voice asks if I want to go there.

"No," I say, "I don't need to right now."

So, I stay in the high school auditorium and things get blurry for a while. I walk around, I talk with people, I share memories and smiles. Contact is fleeting but potent. Then, I'm walking backstage and through another door and I'm in the old band room. Once again, the place is bursting with people. Now, all of us are wearing the purple. Satin jackets or letter coats, t-shirts with show themes from decades past. There are people here who marched the drumline before I started elementary school. There are trombone players reminiscing over the "Zifflemeyer" story. Directors are trading secrets. I sit down among a wall of drummers and look down to see I'm in my old regalia--baggy jeans, band t-shirt, Chucks and a band jacket. I've got sticks in my pocket. Everyone there is in their personal prime. Some may be 30 and others may be 16, but everyone is at a place of comfort.

I look around the room and I can see that other me...the one who was mingling with the theatre group in her torn jeans and white button-down. Past her I can see the choir robes and Madrigal costumes. Beyond her I see that room that leads to ISU.

This is where I'm hit with a wave of emotion and the emotion has words inside of it. Kinda like a fortune cookie--only tastier and more filling.

It says - "You are all here. All of you. And you are all as you should be. All parts of you shine. All parts of  you have meaning. All of you are good."

I just stand there in awe and whisper, "Wow."

My husband joins me and the memory place falls away. Like a pond reflection rippling when a stone hits the surface.

"I just had the most awesome dream," I tell him. "I need to write this one down."

Yeah.

That was a kick ass dream. I'm glad I walked into that room.

Around the House

So, this blog has gotten rather writer-centric lately, so I thought I'd take a post to just talk about things that are actually going on in my life.For starters, it's Pi day. Woot! Well, my 5 year old doesn't exactly know this, but this afternoon she asked to bake a cake. I told her no, we don't have the things to make a cake. She then saw a can of apple pie filling and said, "Let's make pie!" We had a crust in the freezer, it's Pi day... why the hell not. So there's an apple pie in the oven. My first attempt at a crumb topping, too. We'll see how that goes. Speaking of the kiddo... she lost her first tooth last month and the second isn't far behind. School's great. Montessori was definitely the right choice for her. She's on Spring Break right now after spending most of last week at home with a wicked cough. So, to say she's getting bored with Mom is a bit of an understatement.

In other news, most of the country changed for Daylight Savings Time. I live in Arizona where we scoff at this tradition. However, my husband's work schedule has to change to match up with his callers' new schedule. He's getting up earlier, but also getting home earlier, so that's a silver lining.

OH! Yesterday, we went into Bookman's with trade credit burning a hole in our collective purse. The kiddo got 7 new Magic School Bus books to go on her already sagging shelves, he hubbins got a video game or two and I got 5 new (to me) Charlaine Harris books. I now have most of the Sookie Stackhouse books, muahahahahah. Yes, I think these books are crack. I heart them. And since I won't have any NEW HARRY DRESDEN *glares at Jim Butcher* until July, I've got to entertain myself somehow.

It's a busy little world here in my home. This weekend Sean and I will celebrate our 1st wedding anniversary. (Even though we've been together for more than 6 years and have a child together, we waited for a bit to actually make it legal.) How are we celebrating? Well, funny you should ask. As a matter of fact, we're going to a wedding. Some dear friends of ours are tying the knot on Sunday and our daughter is one of the flower girls. Some people may want dinner or some extravagant date.... me? I can't think of a better way to celebrate the day we made this commitment than to witness good friends (one of whom signed our wedding certificate because she was there the day Sean and I became Sean and I back in 2005!)  do the same. And there's going to be yummy food and all of our friends. What more could a girl want?

So yeah... wedding anniversary this weekend... birthday coming up in a couple of weeks. I keep telling myself that 31 is the new 21 but, who are we kidding. I've got silver (SILVER!) in my hair and a bad back... I'm not 21 anymore. Next month another couple is getting married and with that ceremony comes a wave of out of town guests. I'm thrilled to be hosting my longtime friend Bri when I'm not the one trying to wrangle nuptials into being. (It's been a year, dammit, I miss him!) My alma mater, ISU is going to the NCAA tournament. GO TREES! Book is still on submission, getting feedback from betas on the novella, writing flash... yeah... this is my life right now.

Okay, bloggy time is over. Time to go play tic-tac-toe with a very insistent kidlet.

Cheers!