Remember 1991? Flannel around your waist, Docs on your feet and a slightly emo slump to your step because you were so misunderstood by the establishment that it made your soul ache like Kurt Cobain's cancer? We had angst and people like Steven Tyler kept telling us to Rock The Vote to do something about it. Remember those days? Damn, 8th grade was awesome, wasn't it? Anyway...back in 1991 this video came out and MTV played it damn near every morning. (I know, some of you come from a world when MTV didn't play music, but trust me, it was cool.) I woke up to this song many many times and the video always spoke to me. Blind Melon's No Rain.
Here's this girl. Not much to look at, laughed at by the people she's trying to blend with...she goes on her own quest around the town to find someone who will dance with her. Finally, she finds a whole tribe of Bee People who will dance her dance. She finds a place where she belongs.
For many years I felt like the Bee Girl...weird, funny looking and misunderstood. Alone in a crowd and constantly looking for that place of peace and acceptance. My friend Carrie was the first to call me Bee Girl back in college. It fit and it stuck. I envied the Bee Girl because she found that place full of sympathetic characters who not only accept but love her for her differences. Her weirdness is exalted and she ends the video triumphant! Hoo and ray! I envied her that.
In 2002 I met a friend online who lived in Phoenix. I'd been thinking of moving there and we hit it off online and later on the phone. We talked for 2 years and finally I started making plans to relocate. There was this one weekend that all things seemed to gel. I went to Phoenix for that weekend to meet people I'd only spoken to online or the phone and those people introduced me to more people. I walked into a house for a birthday party of a complete stranger and I met my Tribe. My very own Bee People. No trumpets and choirs...just laughter and karaoke. But that feeling of resonance, sympathetic vibration and utter peace said it all. I didn't want to leave the party. At 3:30am my friend looked at me and said, "Your flight leaves in 3 hours and we still have to go get your suitcase packed and get you to the airport." Bummed, I started saying goodbye. As people hugged me they told me, "I don't want to wish you bad luck, but I hope you fuck up this audition because it means you'll move here."
Two days later I auditioned for Blue Man Group. That in and of itself is a whole 'nother story. Short version: I stood on the stage of the Briar Street Theater in Chicago and drummed stroke for stroke with my personal idol and got a call back. (And on the evening news, but that just made me feel awkward..) I went in the next day for the acting portion, went on my way and waited. A few weeks later I emailed the casting director for information and thanked her profusely for the experience. She said that my drumming was "exactly what we're looking for" but that the character needed work. I was urged to try again.
So I moved to Phoenix in October of 2004. On New Year's Eve I was at The Party (see previous entry) and my beloveds gifted me with a pair of blue LED drumsticks. Blue was my signature color and it became my "thing". The nickname "Blue" popped into being and I've answered to it ever since. (It's on my Con badge.) I have to giggle when I read Christopher Moore's You Suck! because of the hooker named Blue who wears blue make up specifically because of Blue Man Group. I found out recently that Chris Moore's next book, Sacre Bleu!, comes out on my birthday and has a stunning prologue about the color Blue and how it is like a woman.
I am Blue. I am the Bee Girl.
So there's your answer.