Out of the Bag

3ofclubsJust three days until WILD CARD is available for you to read! I thought I would share the blog space today with the stars of our book: Catherine Sharp and everyone's favorite satyr, Marius. The two of them have graciously offered to sit down with me for a rare double interview. Now, while all of the questions come from readers, I have chosen the ones that will not lead to spoilers.  With that in mind, let's have some fun and see what Cat and Marius have to say.

Q. So, I think we'll start with you Catherine--

Marius: *interrupts* Call her Cathy. Cat: Shut up. Marius: *ignoring her* She loves it. Makes her think of childhood. Cat: *snorts* Is this seriously how you're going to do this? You're going to be an ass right from the start rather than slowly building up to it for maximum effect? Marius: And what sort of effect would that be, Catherine? You're starting to blush. Do I sense a tingle in the nethers as well? Cat: *closes eyes, breathes deeply* Just call me Cat.  Please.

Q: Alright... Cat. So, you work in tech support. How did you get into that line of work?

Cat: Well, I've always been a bit of a tinkerer. I was the kid taking apart radios and toasters then putting them back together. I did 2 years of school toward an engineering degree, but dropped out when I moved to Vegas. Not long after that I bumped into a friend who said there was an opening at a tech support company looking for entry level code monkeys. I got hired on the spot. Been there ever since.

Q: I hear your employer is well-connected with the bigger casinos in Vegas. Do you ever get any freebies or casino credit?

Cat: Nothing official. I got a couple of tickets to see Blue Man Group as thanks for bailing out one of the tech leads at the Venetian a few years back. Oh, and there was the time I got to hang backstage during a rehearsal of Zumanity. I was working on their light rig at the time. May I just say... yum!

Q: I'll bet. Speaking of yum, let's talk to Marius for a few.

Cat: *noticeably rolls eyes* Really?

Q:  So, Marius, you call yourself a satyr. Are you speaking metaphorically, or mythologically?

Marius: It's true, I'm a satyr. Son of an ancient race that thrives on the sensual pleasures.

Q: You look perfectly normal. Don't satyrs usually have horns and goat's legs?

Marius: It's a simple bit of magic to hide those. Goes with the blood type.

Q: And I hear you've been around a while. If it's not rude to ask, how old are you?

Marius: I'm old enough to know better, but still young enough that I don't give a damn.

Q:  How did the two of you meet? And are you really "just friends"?

Marius: I wouldn't say that we're friends, exactly. Catherine was introduced to me by my employer when the former was particularly stupid and lost her soul to the latter. When the Lady requires Ms. Sharp's attention, it is my responsibility to contact her and sometimes provide her with the details of her tasks. While this is the extent of our relationship, I think it's safe to say that Catherine harbors deep feelings of unrelenting desire for me.

Cat: *pppht* Please!

Q: Do you consider him a friend, Cat?

Cat: I consider him a pain in my ass.

Marius: She doth protest too much, methinks. *knowing grin and wink to me*

Q: Well, Marius, you mentioned your employer. You work for Eris, yes?

Marius: That's true. The Lady of Discord and I have had a working relationship for a while now.

Q: And it's a good relationship?

Marius: *smiling* She is a delightful employer.

Q: Cat, you're also involved with Eris. Would you agree with Marius?

Cat: In a word - NO.

Q: Would you care to elaborate?

Cat: No.

Q: Alrighty then.... moving on from that. We're going to play a couple of games.

Marius: Excellent. I love games! Will I have need of a safe word? Cat: You wish. Marius: Every single night.

Q: This is kinda like the lightning round. Cat - PC or Mac?

Cat: Macs are sexy, but I hate proprietary software. PC.

Q: Marius -  If you could work with any deity, who would it be?

Marius: Dionysus and I always got on famously. I suppose had I been smarter in my youth, I'd have offered my services to him.

Q: Cat - Marry, shag, kill - Loki, Agent Coulson and Iron Man.

Marius: Loki and who? Cat: *gaping at Marius* Seriously? Who? She says Iron Man and your response is "Who?" You need to get out more. Marius: A gentleman doesn't pull out until his lady is ready, thank you. Cat: GET out, not pu--for fucksake, will you just let me answer the question? Marius: Absolutely, though I'm hardpressed to imagine you shagging anyone as you're such a tightly- wound prude. Cat: Fuck off. *to me* I'm assuming you mean Loki from the movies rather than LOKI, right? (I have to ask because *gestures to Marius* well, you know.) Anyway... I'd toss Loki off a cliff on principle. Banner said it best, you can smell crazy on him. Also? I don't do non-humans. *pointed glare to Marius, who just smirks* I'd probably marry Coulson because he's so damn cute in his fanboyness. Plus he kicks ass. And yeah. Would totally shag Iron Man. He's hot. He's smart and he's got all the best tech in the world. I'd take a tumble with him and then ask to play with some of his gadgets. I'd make my own arc reactor!

Q: Marius - same question.

Marius: I still haven't got a bloody clue who you're talking about. And I wouldn't shag Loki if you paid me. He's probably a terrible lay. He's the type that would insist on being the top then make me do all the work. No fun. And marry? Pan's balls! I'd never do something so wretched.

Q: So, how has working with one another benefited you or hindered you?

Cat:  Seriously...? Marius: Really, Catherine? And here I was about to tell her that in our time together you've given me no end of joy. Cat: *pauses* Really? Marius: Of course. *takes her hand in his* I enjoy nothing more than making you suffer. *Cat rips her hand away. Marius turns to me.* She may play the part that she has no interest in me, but some day that stubbornness will crack and I will have her pawing the walls in ecstasy.

Q: Alright, this one should be fun. If you two were stranded on a desert island, what three things would you want? (Assuming your basic survival needs were covered, that is.)

Marius: An endless spring of port wine and a life-time supply of water-based lubricants. Beyond that, I need nothing more. Catherine? Cat: Yeah. You'd need the lube for all the jerking off you'd be doing. Either that or you're fucking coconuts, because it's sure as hell not going to be me. *turns to me* I'd need wi-fi, a natural hot spring of chai...*we fistbump because dude, chai*.

Q: Anything else?

Cat: *glares at Marius* A cattle prod.

Q: Let's say you'd have to agree before the care package could be sent.

Marius: *waggles eyebrows* Chai-flavored lubricant? Cat: Kill me. Please?

Q: Alright, we've got time for one more question. I'd like for you to compose a personal ad that will definitely get a date. The only catch is that you have to write it for the other.

Marius:  Look, I might be devilishly charming and adept at several magics, but even I couldn't work the miracle of getting Catherine Sharp a date. Cat: *blinks* British asshole seeks clandestine rendezvous with my foot up his pompous ass.

Q: And on that note... I think it's time we call this one quits before someone gets hurt. So, thank you very much for sitting down and talking with me.

 

There you have it. If you liked that and want to know more, you can read all about Cat and Marius in WILD CARD, available Monday, November 25!