Stories and Observations

Hey, kids. So the past few days have been interesting and I wanted to share a few things with you, get caught up and otherwise have a good time. So pour some chai, crank some tunes and chill with me. anigif_enhanced-buzz-17729-1347461581-8AUTHOR CRACK

So, one of my beloved Attack Fish called me yesterday to talk about her impending nuptials. Whilst plotting such things, she said, "When the hell is your book coming out?!" Now, keep in mind, she's read it. And the sequel. And yet, she's still checking Amazon daily just to see if I've been mean and not told her when the book is coming out. Here's what's going on: TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES is experiencing some... well... technical difficulties. Nothing major, we're just waiting on editorial decisions to be made. Believe me: once there's a release date, you will know because I'll be screaming it from every mountaintop.

I've also been enjoying tormenting my Beta Readers with snippets from Book 3. I sent an email with no more than 200 words from a particular scene and received glorious responses cursing me, questioning my parentage and even one that was just a collection of consonants meant to represent frustrated grunting. (Either that or he was constipated. Or gagged. Or both. Anyway.) So yeah, that's going well.

Every book teaches me something new. I mean, obviously I learn several lessons, hone the craft, find my voice and all that with everything I write, but each work has a major lesson to teach me. Usually, I don't know that lesson until it's over. Here I am, 20k words into Book 3 and I already know what we're working on together. Keep in mind, I outlined this book almost 2 years ago when I first put together the 5 book arc for the Etudes in C# series. I wrote an opening last year, too. The lesson I'm learning here, though, as I write it for reals is that nothing is written in stone. Things are malleable--even when they've been outlined for a year. This book is not what I thought it was, so I'm rediscovering it and a lot of old ideas are being kicked aside. For the better. Some of those ideas for how this book would progress were novice. I am better, stronger and wiser now. And more sadistic.

So yeah. Good times.

Take Two Extra-marital Partners and Call Me In the Morning

As long-time readers will know, I've been dealing with Pre-menstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) for 5 years now. (Well, I've been medicated for 5 years this month.) Basically, this disorder is PMS on steroids. Unmedicated, I spend the week before my period in an absolute abyss of self-loathing to the point that I've entertained the thought of leaving my family because they would be better off without me. It's not rational. It's like someone else is driving my mind and I'm in the passenger seat screaming helplessly. It sucks. As I said, though, I've been blessedly medicated for 5 years and these things don't happen any more. Yay, chemistry!

tumblr_m25ab8ZcNv1qk3vnko1_500The thing about medication, though, is that it must be managed. I've switched meds a few times, actually, to find the right dose and blend to make my life as normal and balanced as is possible. To do that, I see a Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner.  This usually means that I spend 5 minutes in her office catching up on life and saying, "I'm good. More prescription refills, please."  Sometimes, however, I have concerns about side-effects and bring them up with her. The one that comes to mind was about a year and change ago I mentioned that I was experiencing a low libido (which is to be expected with most anti-depressants, strangely enough). We adjusted meds to take care of this. She made a joke that if it didn't work maybe I just needed to spice up my sex life. I joked back that I was a mom with a young child... good luck with that. Laugh laugh, go on.

Last year at my check-up she asked how the new meds were working and I said everything was fine. I told her that the libido was waking up and things were okay. She waved me off and quipped that I'd been with my husband 7 years and that was just too long, that I should look elsewhere. Awkward, but I said, "Nah. I've got enough friends in open relationships that I like being the rebel monogamist."

Flash forward to my check up THIS week. All is well, give me my refills. She asks about the libido and I say, "No problem other than having a 7 year old."  Her response?

"You're still with the same guy? Eight years? Yeah, you need to switch it up occasionally."

Wait...did you seriously just do that AGAIN? Did you just recommend infidelity? For serious? I laughed it off, came home and posted to Facebook and Twitter that sweet Jesus on a jet ski is this awkward! (And before you say anything, yes, I'm considering an ethics report because while I can see it as a joke at best or a bad fucking idea at worst, I know that she works with other people who may not be as with it as I am.... and that's saying something. I talk to my imaginary friends for fucksake.)  Seriously, twice in as many visits the woman has suggested that I cheat on my husband (or complicate my life by opening my marriage to other sexual partners). And she has told me how she changes partners on a regular basis and can't be with anyone longer than a few years. I shouldn't know that about my not-a-shrink. GAH!

tumblr_m53hwx8EGp1r7wgqmFor the record, what I said is true and still stands: I'm a serial monogamist and I don't want to add the complication of an open relationship to my life. Besides, with all the people I know who are in poly/open situations, I like being different. That being said, if Tom Hiddleston asked, I'd be begging Sean for a permission slip and getting Rachel Weiss's contact info for him.

Good times.

Be Excellent To Each Other

Yesterday I left the gym and heard shouting. Two men in the parking lot were getting into it with one another and damn near came to blows. Apparently, one was driving poorly, one flipped the bird and wackiness ensued. Their voices echoed off the buildings and carried to the street 100 yards away. One of them called the other "discourteous" while his opponent retorted with "asshole". They just kept arguing and yelling. Thankfully, it was only words they threw at one another.

It got me to thinking about how their days would play out. Offended and riled up, they'd go on and pour that negativity elsewhere. Maybe on a waitress, a spouse or a child. They'd be colder, more distant or broody. More likely to lash out at the slightest thing. And thus someone else would deal with that negativity. Would they ground it or pass it on? The negativity would breed until it just kept moving through the world.

And for what? Parking lot drama? Reminded me of a time my mom accidentally cut off a woman in a parking lot only to be verbally attacked when that woman came running up to my mother's car and screaming at her through the window.

Why do that? Why scream and shout and be a storm of negative when it's just a parking lot? It's just little shit. I'm not trying to get all hippy dippy love and shit right now, but come on. Why waste your energy being negative and holding anger? Just let it roll off your back, go on with your life and draw some extra joy for yourself somewhere.

Imagine what the world would be like if we spread smiles  and kind words or deeds instead of flipping people off or shouting in parking lots.

 

And with that, kids, I'm outta here. This book isn't going to write itself.