If you follow my social media at all, you know that for the past couple of weeks I've been dealing with some issues. Damn near constant nausea. Abdominal pain. Shivering when I'm wearing a sweater and it's 90 damn degrees out...but no fever. Yeah, good times. Turns out I've got gallstones. (That's right, I'm so creative my individual organs even make stuff!) Quick anatomy lesson with the help of webcomic The Awkward Yeti. Your liver makes a digestive substance called bile. Your gallbladder is a warehouse for bile. Said bile travels through appropriate ducts--like in spy movies--and hangs out in the gallbladder until it's GO TIME! MOVE MOVE MOVE!
Anyway, gallstones occur when... you know what, there's no exact reason for them. No one knows WHY your gallbladder suddenly decides to take your bodily substances and turn them into solid masses, but when you're like me and have a family history of gallbladders that ride the short bus, it seems inevitable.
In my particular case, the stones are blocking the ductwork and bile is not getting where it needs to go. My liver is enlarged what with all the supersoldier bile bits hanging out waiting to get into the gallbladder.
This bodes ill for our intrepid Pajamazon, who--you might remember--just had laproscopic surgery in April. But surgery is in the cards as my poor little creative "helper" of a gallbladder must needs hit the road. (*squelching noise*)
I had a consult with the surgeon this morning so that we could discuss the
exorcism I mean removal of the malfunctioning organ. He said that while sometimes people try a change of diet, he doesn't see that as an option in my case since no matter what I eat, my body says "Dislike".
So next Thursday, my belly button will once more be invaded for the greater good. Way to go, Belly Button.
Peace out, Gallbladder. You were a good helper for 34 years. But it's time for us to part ways.
*insert video of Gallbladder and I holding hands, running through a field, sharing ice cream etc to the tune of Sarah McLachlan's "I Will Remember You".*