This House Is Really, Really Great.... An Update

So, as some of you know, last week I went to see a house with some friends that was quite...interesting. I posted a video blog about it, so watch it: yeah. That happened. Well, I have an update on this house.

First of all, we found out that a good portion of the house was built as an addition...illegally. The permits were never completed, so the additions are a crapshoot. The wiring could be faulty. The construction shoddy. Hell, they may have just built on top of the 3 inch patio slab rather than a true foundation.

So there's that.

ovenAlso, the stove that had my buddy Brian drooling and touching himself inappropriately? Well, it apparently came from a strip joint that closed shop. Yes. You, too, can use the same burners that were used to cook poor quality, over-priced morsels that men ate while watching naked women gyrate against a greasy pole. That's why all your omelettes taste like tears and disappointment.

The more interesting news about this house came from a colleague of Ray Dawson (the realtor). While we all think this house was used... FOR PORN... the professional analysis is that it's actually a big ol' pile of mortgage fraud. They bought the house for it's original price, right? Then they took out a loan to do the "improvements" to the house. It *looks* good and they can sell the house for some exorbitant sum and walk with cash. What ended up happening, is that they pocketed the money of the loans for the improvements and walked, letting the house fall into foreclosure. Apparently, they've moved just down the street where they're doing the same thing. Possibly. Allegedly. This is conjecture. Mostly.

So yeah, for those curious why we didn't just buy the place for it's bargain price...this is why. The walls that look like marble are plaster and that's some cheap ass shit. And it was built without proper permits. So it would probably have to come down. Oh, and there's no fence outside and homeless people have been living in the oleander bushes out back. We're still not convinced that there isn't a hellmouth on site.