Thursday Night Facebook

tumblr_mbz2x0xFtE1ryaiojo1_400 Sometimes truth is sillier than any fiction I could come up with. Sometimes Facebook--for all its bullshit, drama, angst and such--provides an hour or two of endless amusement when reconnecting with someone. Last night, I got a little bit of this brand of joy.

But to tell you that story, I should tell you this story.

I moved to Phoenix in late 2004. I was in my early twenties, but not much for dating or the bar scene or anything. One night I was out with a friend for her bachelorette party... yeah, this is one of those stories... anyway, I was just out for a good time with the girls. No designs on anything else. Well, she had this "Bachelorette Party Scavenger Hunt" thingy full of silly things like "Rub a bald man's head" and such. Well, one of the things on the list was "get a guy to give you his underwear". I don't know how or why we figured it out, but the DJ at the Scottsdale bar--wtf? I never went to Scottsdale--went to high school with my buddy Jeff. The Bachelorette decided to exploit this and see if he would be the donor of his chonies. Strangely enough, he said he would. As he went to the bathroom to relieve himself of his boxers, I got a glimpse of him and let the Bachelorette know, "Holy shit! He's cute!"

"I dare you to kiss him," she said.

I wasn't one for picking up strangers or kissing random guys, but for some reason, I decided to completely go against my patterns and do it. He came out of the bathroom and tossed his Superman boxers at my friend. I walked up to him and without a word, I planted a kiss on him. When I backed up he said, "Wow!" And kissed me again. Then he went back to work being a DJ, and I just stood there stunned.

Seriously, I was bad at this whole thing. Later, I went up to him and used some cheesy line to get his number, gave him mine and didn't expect him to use it. I was never that forward. I never just gave a guy my number. This was really outside of my comfort zone. Surprisingly (to me), we talked on the phone a lot after that.  Cool guy. For a couple months we talked (flirted) constantly. We went out a time or two, but nothing ever came of it. He stopped calling or texting. I didn't chase him, figuring rejection happens and went on with life. Not long after Sean and I started dating and, well, the rest of that story is history.

I didn't hear from Superman again...and never got the chance to give his boxers back. *shrugs* Oh well.

Flash forward almost 10 years to last night....

back_to_the_future_fire tracks

...So, I'm sick and surfing around Facebook for amusement and a friend of mine makes a silly post. I respond in kind and then see that the next comment in the thread is... Superman.

"Holy shit! I haven't seen you in years!" I said.

A few minutes later this happened in my private messages*:

Superman: I hate to sound like an ass. Me, Your Glorious Pajamazon: But? Him: I remember the name but don't know who you are. Me: Lol it's ok. We went out a couple of times right after I moved here like 10 years ago. Him: Again I apologize. Can you give details? Me: Met you at {bar name redacted} at my friend's bachelor's party. I didn't bother to say hi before I kissed you. We talked for a few months. Hung out a few times. You disappeared. *send/pause* Bachelorette party. Stupid auto correct. Probably still doesn't narrow it down lol Him: It really does. I didn't screw around.

I should point out that A) I appreciated that message because my inner 24 year old felt less weird about the whole him fading off thing and B) this part of the conversation started at about 8:30pm. With me? Let's continue.

Me: Ah k then. But yeah. If it helps zone in more, I am th e one who loved all things Dark Phoenix. Him: Did we talk on the other side of {bar name redacted}? The side with the dark industrial music side? Me: I don't remember. You gave my friend your boxers. I tried to get them back to you. Him: Okay now the lines are blurry. Lol (pause) Did we have the sex? Me: Lol no. You were a good kisser as I recall, but things fizzled before the scrumping. Him (Twenty minutes after first message): I swear something is going to trigger my memory. Me: We talked on the phone a lot. No worries though it was a while ago. Him: *sends me friend request. I accept. Pause in conversation.* No I apologize. You look familiar. (pause) Omg you bit tongue

*blink* At this point we've been talking for a half hour and I'm giggling that he's trying to rack his brains to remember some random woman from 10 years ago, but okay. (I've mentioned this to the husband at this point and he's gotten a kick out of it, too.) And then there's this tongue biting thing?

Me: ? I bit? Him: Did I flip out that you did that? Me: I don't remember doing that... not generally a move in my repertoire. Him: Lol this is funny Me: I'm giggling about it. If I bit you it was accidental**. Him: I think. , . I think I remember kissing and you nibbled my tongue and I was surprised

I would just like to point out--for the record--that no time have I ever purposefully bitten someone's tongue. Not how I roll, nor was it how I rolled at 24.

Me: Trying to think...we watched MST3K and Bill Cosby standup... I lived in tempe. (This is weird. It's like writing a personal ad for my 24 yr old self). If that was me that did the tongue thing (which I don't recall) and that's why you went poof in a puff of silence, I'm sorry. Lol Him: Omg it's coming back to me now Me: Ha! Him: We made out on the couch right? Me: Yup. Him: I kissed your stomach. Me: This is hilarious. Him: Am I right? Me: Possibly. It's been a while, sweets. I can barely remember what I did last week. I'm surprised I remember this much. All the kissing and stuff aside, sorry you faded out. You were fun to talk to. Him: Did we make out in your room? Me: Yeah. Him: Ah ha I remember now.

At this point we've been chatting for 45 minutes. *snerk* Now, keep in mind, I still have no idea what happened 10 years ago that made him decide to go poof, and I don't recall this tongue biting incident. So in my head, he's probably just made some connection that set off red alarm klaxons and branded me as some crazy chick.

Me: *cue the "holy shit psycho lady run away!" Freakout* Him: You lived in that house with that guy. Your room was upstairs.

LOL Whomever actually bit his tongue is sounding less like me.

Me: Second floor apartment with a girl. Him: Small room. Me: Yup. Him: I'm remembering bits. Me: Mostly it was flirting on the phone. Him: Starting to come to me now. Lol Me: are you?

And so, an hour later, he had a slight grasp of who I was 10 years ago. We chatted for a bit after that and called it a night. Seriously, though, this was hilarious. I do not expect someone to remember someone they went out with once or twice 10 years ago. My memory is crazy-long and some of the most random things are still up there in perfect detail while I truly cannot remember something I did less than a month ago. I appreciate, though, that Superman gave it a serious try at remembering me. Confirms what I thought then: he's a good guy.


Anyway... this was definitely fun for a laugh. I posted to my Twitter last night that I thought this was hilarious, and someone who has known me for...holy shit, she's known me since my first blog back in 1999 or 2000. Anyway, she posted this gem:

 You don't much seem like that girl anymore. If I hadn't watched you grow, I certainly wouldn't recognize you. #love #pride

*beams* Thanks, doll. And yeah...Superman encountered me at a very odd time in my life when I was fresh in Phoenix and building a new life. (And when I did something completely out of my comfort zone by kissing a cute stranger at a club.) Physical changes aside, part of 24 year old Blue still exists in here, but I am sooooo not that girl. I'm better. More refined. More me.

Besides...I breathe fire. That bitch might have been skinnier, but she couldn't breathe fire. And was she a published author? Don't think so.

Anyway. I had to post this because it was just a slice of hilarity from real life. A little bit of laugh-magic brought to you by Facebook.

How about you? What's silly in your life right now? Who have you become in the past 10 years? Did you bite someone's tongue? ***

Also... GO BRONCOS!! (Peyton's my boy.) See? Magneto knows what's up. BfUXOhNIUAAdJq0

Have a good weekend, gang. <3

* - The entirety of this story was posted with his knowledge and consent proving he's still a good sport about a good many things. ** - I'm very sad that this pun went unremarked. *sigh* *** - I so did not bite his tongue.