Word Choice: It Matters

b3fdd4249f7c9a3a3f35293b97afe507Conjunctions play a big part in our communication. And. But. Or. They are major parts of our conversations. You want cake AND ice cream. You think Archie should choose: Betty OR Veronica. You would go do the thing, BUT... We use them tacitly, too. When we refer to her as "the pretty one", we  imply "but she's not smart as well". When we say "he's fat", often times we silently add, "and ugly." Even when the words aren't there, they bring baggage with them. These three tiny words manage a lot of our lives in ways we don't even acknowledge. They dictate our actions and influence our self-talk.

But? But pisses me off. It is a word that has its uses, to be sure, however, it is often coupled with excuses. But allows people to forsake joy and ignore possibilities in favor of "safety" and coddling the yellow voices in our minds. But is the harbor of fear.

The one that infuriates me, though, is "OR". Or is so fucking polarizing. Us OR them. For OR against. This OR that. Or limits conversation. While "but" at least dares to imagine possibilities, "or" restricts the act of thinking to a binary pattern. No variation. Column A OR Column B. Choose your side.

I hate OR.

I much prefer AND.

And allows rumination, conversation, change. And daydreams. And explores. And jumps through the ring of fire to see what is on the other side. And makes space for joy in this, our one and only life.

Three simple words that can shape our worlds, fictional and otherwise. Three words that have the power to make profound differences in our lives.

I choose to live a life of AND.